Captain Tom

We grow up fast.

Being sexually active at five weeks is, you would say, precocious.

Productive too: me and the missus had fifty kids last year.

And not too picky. I do have distant cousins that are vegan,
but speaking personally I am more open-minded.  
That’s my Norwegian roots.

I’m not averse to bunking-up with your lot. But bluntly
I prefer my own kind. We’re more civilised.

I know what you think. We do get a lot of stick. That’s not fair.

It wasn’t genocide, we just didn’t expect you to go down like flies.

The rest is collateral damage. No harm meant.

Do you know, my teeth are harder than iron?

Live fast, die young. That’s our way.
I’m over a year old. That’s the stuff of legend.

Think of me like a Captain Tom among rats.